I'm a costume designer, makeup artist, teacher, mom, knitter, baker, want-to-learn-how-to-do-it-all

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I'm a costume designer, makeup artist, teacher, mom, sewer, knitter, baker, want-to-learn-how-to-do-it-all, blogging, Costumed Beagle enthusiast. I am not always pleasant, although through intensive cupcake therapy I have learned not to throw knives at people anymore.

Saturday, February 22, 2014

Why No One Needs a Husband or What We Need Are More Wives

OK.  I'm going to go on a bit of a rant here.  I'm allowed, because I say so and this is my blog, so I guess if you didn't want to hear it and only wanted to real awesome happy fun things...go somewhere else.

But I don't need a husband.  

You don't either.  What we need are Wives.

And here are 5 reasons why

1.  Wives don't "babysit" their children.  They raise them.  They go to soccer practice and dance class and parent teacher conferences.  They volunteer in their children's classroom's (even if they work). They read with them and do their homework and discipline them. They don't expect awards for doing the thing they signed up to do.  They show up and get it done.

2.  A Wife would be an equal partner in household duties and chores.  Even if one of you stays home to care for little children, and one goes to work, at the end of the day there are still things that need to be done.  And if BOTH of you work, BOTH of you would share in household responsibilities.  No one deems anything as "women's work" because quite frankly, women do it all.  I get that things divide up differently when one stays home.  I tried this for about a year and half and took on an extra portion of household stuff, but here's the thing: if one of you is home with little children, that is the primary responsibility, and sometimes, little else gets done.  Also, what if you NEVER got to get off duty?

3.  A Wife would not make the decisions FOR me or FOR the family.  I know this doesn't apply in lots of households, but in Mormon land the man is the head of the household and we are taught that they will lead their family.  HAH!  What I want is someone who talks through all critical family choices and respects and backs me up when I make have to make a solo choice.  AND THEN I'll do that for you. I certainly don't need to be reprimanded by a husband when they feel their authority (or masculinity) has been compromised.  You may think I'm joking about this, but I witness it all the time. In public.

4.  A Wife sees when there is a need and does it.  She doesn't wait for someone else to do it.  She doesn't sit on the couch and pretend the need doesn't exist.  Yes, there are lazy wives.  I've seen those too.  I categorize those as husband-wives (and nothing gets done at their house) but they are few and far between.  And despite the fact that there are articles every year (often around mother's day) that break down how much women get done on any given day vs. men, and more articles about how men are pitching in more than ever!, the disparity between what men do and what women do remains great.  I hear men joke about it all the time, so I know they are aware of it.  So....my only deduction from this is that men just don't care.  How's that for a partner?

5. A Wife can multi-task.  Even when I see husbands try to be helpful,  too often, they can only focus on one thing at a time.  Sure, they can watch the kids, but the house will become-remain-BE a mess. Sure they can go grocery shopping, but they can't make the list/do coupons/take the kids/fill the car with gas/remember that Johnny needs poster board.  They can put laundry IN the washing machine, but cannot dry/fold/iron/put it away.  And all too often they don't quite follow through with the thing they started out doing.

I'm sure you could all add to this list.  I don't actually want to put men down but I don't think they make good partners. I'm sure there are those of you out there who are exceptions to this list.  Maybe.  Like a unicorn you exist somewhere in our dreams.  BUT, from my experience, you all just aren't pulling your own weight.

So let it be known.  What I need in my life is someone who will equally help raise and care for children and accomplish households needs all without being told to do so.

Sounds like what I need is a wife.  I'll bet you do too.

And if you are a man reading this, and you are offended, ask yourself "do I really do as much as and am an equal partner to my wife?"  If the answer is honestly yes, congratulations.  But don't expect an award for it...you are accomplishing the bare minimum of what it means to be a true partner.

*This is NOT an announcement.  I am not turning the heterosexual chapter of my life over to a new page...if you thought that you were looking too hard.  I just get people asking me ALL the time why I am not actively looking for a husband, and as you can see, based on the husbands I see all around me, why would I want one?

**I am also not advocating that all the women I know become lesbians.  Geesh.  You are on the wrong blog.

***I am also not saying I hate men.  Again, wrong blog.

1 comment:

  1. Oh La, you needed to marry my wife-husband. He is a much better wife than I am. All of his brothers are currently married, but if I find another lying around. I will hook you up.

    I think you and I clearly know a lot of the same men though. My first try used to always ask me when I would go somewhere, "Who is babysitting?"
    "Well actually it's called parenting and that would be Y-O-U." It still pisses me off thinking of it.