I'm a costume designer, makeup artist, teacher, mom, knitter, baker, want-to-learn-how-to-do-it-all

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I'm a costume designer, makeup artist, teacher, mom, sewer, knitter, baker, want-to-learn-how-to-do-it-all, blogging, Costumed Beagle enthusiast. I am not always pleasant, although through intensive cupcake therapy I have learned not to throw knives at people anymore.

Tuesday, February 25, 2014

Lighten The Load...

So my post the other day got a little attention.  I really do mean a little, because my reach really isn't very long, but in the circles I blog in, I got more (or less) reaction than I expected.

Very few liked my post...but many had a LOT to say about it.  Apparently, I am a man-hating lesbian now.  So be it.  If that's what you read, well...you may be part of the problem.  And by problem, I mean the fact that so few of the husbands I know really share a fair share in the  responsibility of raising their families and household chores.

I think wives can be part of the problem.  Because sometimes we let them.  Now there are two ways to look at this.  One is that you have a wife who is high energy and likes serving her family and taking care of a husband.  I get this. There is nothing wrong with this except that it then does not allow the husband to give back to the relationship and also serve.  The second reason (and this is for all of you out there that I've heard complain about your husbands and yet were quick to defend him after Saturday's post) is that it is just easier that way.  This is called enabling.  I have A LOT of experience with this.  It also does not allow a partner to grow and develop an attitude where you give and serve your spouse in caring ways.

I also heard that my feminist ways were disrupting the natural gendered order of things.  Seriously.  So here's my question if that is true...IF in the natural order of things wives do everything, including provide  income, what is the natural position of men?  I think that's where a few guys got themselves into a little bit of a snit--they felt threatened.

But here's really the gist of my point.  If you really care for someone...let's say a spouse, why would you let them shoulder the bulk of responsibility alone?  Are husbands and wives not to bear the burden of life together?  Shouldn't you seek out ways to make this sad hard existence easier and lighter for the person you love more than anyone else in the world??

So again, if my post hit a nerve, it is probably not (although possible, I am fallible ) that either you or your spouse are not serving one another fully.  It is probably not because you are concerned about me not having a husband or because I hate men or might be gay or have gone off the feminist cliff of no return (non of which are true...just to clarify...again).

And anyway, it isn't any of my business HOW you all do it at your house, all I'm saying is, that in order to have a fulfilling relationship I would need someone who could step up to the plate, and quite frankly, the pickings look slim.


  1. All I have to say is that many are called but few are chosen.

  2. I would like to add that everything you claim about men and women being unequal is backed up by plenty of research. You're not just making it up. My dad is one of the very few men I know who is actually an equal partner. And it may be because his PhD dissertation utilized, in part, feminist theory. Thanks for being honest, as always.