I'm a costume designer, makeup artist, teacher, mom, knitter, baker, want-to-learn-how-to-do-it-all

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I'm a costume designer, makeup artist, teacher, mom, sewer, knitter, baker, want-to-learn-how-to-do-it-all, blogging, Costumed Beagle enthusiast. I am not always pleasant, although through intensive cupcake therapy I have learned not to throw knives at people anymore.

Monday, November 25, 2013

Oddities and Such

Well, here we go again...there are just too many things I just don't get in this world. And since I have been super neglectful to my faithful readers and haven't done one of these in awhile, it is an extended version. YAY!

But here you go; to send you off on your holiday week with cheer and hopefully some glee.

First up: Target for the win on obesity!
Those are cereal bars.  Intended for breakfast.
Kudos to Americans for having just enough sense to know that this somehow crosses a line since it is on clearance.

Next is a little house that is near Wm's school; I only pass it if I am headed to work immediately after.  It is modest house in a modest neighborhood, but it has a HUGE bronze elk in the front yard.  And the elk (whom we will hereafter refer to as Edmond) wears a delightful holiday wreath that changes every month.  At Halloween he was covered in spider webs and big plastic spiders.  Edmund makes me unbelievably happy.  I wish I could get a better shot without looking creepy.  Maybe for December...

#3 is a new club at BYU I recently saw advertising for.  Do really tall people feel isolated?  Do they need their own club?  We had a guy get hustled into being part of a short/tall joke in the opera this fall who measured in a 6'10" (which by the way, is not "on the tall side" if you are talking to a costume designer about fitting someone with a sleeve length of 40") and I asked him what he thought about this club.  He thought it was a way to lure tall guys in to the tall girls. Hmm.  Yet another instance of someone playing match-maker?
I'm not sure the HFAC is the best place to advertise for really tall men since I doubt there is a performer in all the world who measures above 5'10", but maybe they were covering all their bases.

#4: This jacket.  Also at Target, marketed for tweens, perhaps?  Or maybe it was just a special out for dress-your-daughter-like-a-yeti-day.  Just because you can make something doesn't mean you should.

#5: Can you read that?  I did a double take.  It says "Sakura's Garden: Zen grooming for dogs".  Zen.  I consulted with our resident canine grouch to see what he thought about that and some uncharacteristically bad language was exhibited.  Well...that's not very Zen, is it?

#6: Little Mommy Princess and the Potty (carried at...you guessed it...Target).  This little gem has a try me feature which, when you press on the toilet seat flips up to reveal your precious's poop.  POOP.  Which then disappears when you flush the handle.  Um.  No words.

#7  Remember when you were a kid and it would snow and you and all the neighbor kids would run outside while your mom tried to shove a hat on your head and gloves on your hands?  And you would try to build the biggest snowman ever??  Or, if you are like me, are from St. George you rushed out before it could melt and tried to manufacture something that sort of resembled a couple of dirty balls of ice?  And then you would get sticks and a scarf and a carrot nose and give it personality?  Well, never fear, the taxation on young minds to figure out those minute details that is clearly stressing them out has been dealt with...at Target (I really don't know that Target carries more crap than anyone else; I really think this is more a reflection on how much time I spend there...).  You can buy this kit.  I think, that if we went looking this holiday season, we will be able to buy, tucked in among the Christmas trees at the lots, complete snowmen that you can take home and plop on your lawn.  No effort required.

#8  Bought a pair of shoes last week.  I had been looking for a very particular type of gray wool ballet flat for some time.  And I finally found it.  YAY!  But the brand of shoe gave me pause...In fact, I had to think briefly whether I was up to the task of owning and wearing a shoe that was Fergalicious.  Are you?

#9  Our elementary school has a bell choir.  It is awesome.  I have, somehow, by default, become the parent who keeps this thing running.  This year, we needed to replace a few bells (they do not do well when dropped.  Have you EVER heard of kids NOT dropping things?  Yeah. New Bells).  And so I looked up where we'd gotten bells in the past and it led me to this.  Which only made me want to buy more bells.

#10  To be clear, I'm a big fan of Hillary Clinton.  You don't have to be.  I know lots of people aren't.  But man, that woman has quite the set of chops and can she ever rock a pant suit.  Politics aside, though, I got this email just yesterday inviting me to purchase this lovely set of champagne glasses.  Um, yard sign?  You bet.  Bumper sticker?  Maybe.  Classy trucker hat?  Absolutely.  But Bubbles Glasses with a unique logo?  Again: um.

#11  And lastly, something closer to home.  Yesterday, being Sunday, I wrestled The Citizens into their finest and hustled them off to church.  Citizen #1 has finally reached a point where he will, under duress, dress himself.  FANTASTIC.  However, this sort of thing comes with a price.  As in, he dresses himself.  And this, folks, is what we end up with:

Yep, you got it.  TWO entirely different shoes (one slip on, one with LACES), and entirely different sizes (2 sizes different to be exact) and...here's the worst part: WHITE SPORT SOCKS.  He's killing me.  He only let me take a picture because I said I would take him home to fix it.  While I waited patiently in the car, he did procure a matching set of shoes and black socks.  However, once back at church I noticed they were short black ankle sport socks.  Seriously.  There is only so much you can do.  *Sigh*

Hold the Press!  Last minute addition that my childhood BFF just posted on Face book and I just can't let you leave without it.  You'll thank me later. (I couldn't get the exact one she posted to link here...but I think this one will be great...)

 Happy Thanksgiving, y'all!

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