I'm a costume designer, makeup artist, teacher, mom, knitter, baker, want-to-learn-how-to-do-it-all

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I'm a costume designer, makeup artist, teacher, mom, sewer, knitter, baker, want-to-learn-how-to-do-it-all, blogging, Costumed Beagle enthusiast. I am not always pleasant, although through intensive cupcake therapy I have learned not to throw knives at people anymore.

Thursday, May 30, 2013

I QUIT! And You Can Too!

*Dear Lord, please bless that my children are so eager for the end of the school year that they do not notice that I am no longer a willing participant. This is my plea.  Amen.

Yesterday, William sort of let it slip that he may have not done an assignment very well (i.e. at all) so I reluctantly got online to check.  There is nothing wrong with this, it is what mother's are supposed to do...apparently to the death.  But man, I'm sooooo ready for school to be over.  We still have another week to go, but I've already checked out.  But I couldn't tell him that what I was really thinking was "WHO CARES! LETS GO TO THE POOL!"

I have no idea if my kids are doing their homework right now.  I haven't checked their backpacks IN WEEKS.  I guess I should clarify: I have no idea if William is doing his homework right now.  Anna...well, she was painted with a different brush.  She's killing me.
"MOM, we gotta read!"  yeah, I know...blah blah blah, raising readers, Harry Potter, blah.  IF ONLY we could read for 20 minutes.  No. Solid hour.  Every damn night.  She follows me around the house reading to me while I do the dishes, fold the laundry and iron.  She's already registered herself for the summer library reading program.  I figure we'll send this one to college.  William can stay home with me and massage my bunions.

Last week, the third grade had a Running of The Bulls.  The appropriateness of the kids participating in a barbaric Spanish cultural event aside, it really didn't need to be a big deal.  Really. The kids don't care that much.  They're just glad to get outside and run around for a bit-hand them a Popsicle and let it rest.  But no.  Everything has to be this huge production.  I get production.  I work in theatre.  NOT EVERYTHING HAS TO BE A PRODUCTION.  I got a call the last week of April from the mom in charge of that event asking if I could have 2 dozen red sashes and bandannas prepped for the class in a couple of days.  No.  I could not.  I am in tech for a show and also, I don't care.  But she calls back the next day--could I do it if they moved the date? Seriously lady?  I'm working 60+ hours for three weeks straight and you can't cut out some fabric for a cultural event you volunteered to do?  I was a bit miffed but figured she would continue to find reasons to call me,  and also I do not even have enough strength left to make it to the finish line, so I did it.  Reluctantly.  It seemed like less effort. The kids looked adorable running around with their red scarves and sashes zapping the kids who got to play the bulls.  But completely unnecessary.  Moms, repeat after me: NOT EVERYTHING HAS TO BE A PRODUCTION.  The end.

Then I got a reminder email from William's teacher yesterday afternoon that today was to be their Medieval Feast and back in March, when I was still a real parent, I told her just to let me know what was left on the sign up sheet and I would bring that. There aren't a whole lot of involved parents for William's class so when I cared I wanted to make sure they were taken care of.  It's a good thing she emailed, because when I questioned Mr. Beene, he smiled slowly and said "Oh, yeah...that's tomorrow.  You're supposed to bring chicken legs."

!!!!  Chicken legs??  How many?  Precooked, I assume?  He had no idea.  3 emails later I trucked over to the grocery store deli to see what I could procure.  Of course I couldn't cook them myself (I actually appreciated that rule just a little), and there are no deals for the purchase of chicken legs only.  $1.19 EACH.  I hope those day old, cold nasty deli chicken legs were delish for the feast today....

But I felt pretty good about it...my interest in participating in anything school related right now is pretty much 0, so following through felt like a real accomplishment.  I don't understand why we don't just call it quits right after all the stupid testing is done.  The parents are done, the kids are done, the teachers are done.  We could if they quit taking every other Friday off all year long.

It is time to call it quits.  We can use the summer to  re-group, re-charge, re-invest in education or whatever.  In just a few short weeks I'll be day dreaming about new pencils and the smell of that shiny new trapper-keeper I'm going get William so he'll be so ready for Jr. high...because I love new school supplies.  But not today.  My house is full of broken pencil stubs with no erasers and dried up glue sticks.  Today we just need to call it in and go to the pool.

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