Letting go is hard. Whether it is in your personal life, or at work or just dumb things people say, sometimes letting go can be very hard.
I recently had a conversation with a friend about some obstacles she was having at work and some obstacles I was having in my life in general. "And I just can't seem to let it go" seemed to be the theme of the hour.
I do not considered myself an overly attached personality, or OCD, but I often get conversations that I've had with someone (that usually didn't go well...or at least not as planned) and I chew on these conversations well into the night, sometimes for days over what went wrong, over what I could have said to make my argument or point or idea clear OR just fun zingers that I could have said that would have put that person in their place and see how smart or funny or RIGHT I am. As I always am. Smart and funny and most importantly: RIGHT.
I think this is pretty normal. I think most people do this to a certain extent, but I have noticed that when life is in turmoil, things do bug me more, and I do tend to spend more sleepless nights that I ought on things of little to no significance.
I wish I knew how to set things aside and just let go. I have a feeling that if I could do this my life would be smoother. And to be fair to myself, I have learned to let some things go. My house is not as clean as I would like. We don't eat quite as healthy and light and organically and at home as I would like.
Maybe if I did yoga or meditated or planned more (this in truth may not be possible for me to plan more) I could go with the flow a bit more and not get those feathers ruffled.
I have several neighbors whose garages are so full of crap that they can't park in them. This baffles me as I think I would rather sleep outside than shovel out my car and scrape windows each morning. Their garages are probably full of things they just can't let go....but it isn't much different really than carrying around mental baggage. It all weighs you down.
Today, I was working from home and was able to fit in a small workout (whew...got that out of the way for the year) and threw on some comfy workout pants and my favorite old knit hoody. I've had this thing since before having kids. It is awful. It was a favorite piece from the get go and I've worn the thing literally to pieces. I stopped letting myself wear it in public a couple of years ago, but will often put it on for a day around the house. It has long since had frayed edges and been repaired along most seams, but as I went about the day both my elbows poked right through the very thin fabric. I sighed sadly, because I know I need to let it go. Go to hoody heaven where all good pieces of clothing that have served us well go.
I'm still wearing it as I write this--a sort of Eulogy to the past.
There are things I need to let go. I know this. I know letting go will help me move on and in the end will be better for me, but it is hard.