I'm a costume designer, makeup artist, teacher, mom, knitter, baker, want-to-learn-how-to-do-it-all

My photo
I'm a costume designer, makeup artist, teacher, mom, sewer, knitter, baker, want-to-learn-how-to-do-it-all, blogging, Costumed Beagle enthusiast. I am not always pleasant, although through intensive cupcake therapy I have learned not to throw knives at people anymore.

Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Developing my Inner Evil Caricature

So I've developed an eye tic (not an app named I-tic as a friend of mine thought today) .  I've had it for about a month now.  A MONTH.  It comes and goes throughout the day...but I think it is slowly pushing me closer and closer to madness.
I'm worried it is indicative of something more sinister.  Like an evil alter-ego.  This is where it gets tricky, because I'm certain I have several students who would argue I am already evil...but I disagree, I am not quite evil...just not cuddly.  It is not in my nature, but that doesn't mean I don't care.  IN FACT, I would argue I am hard on them (or just plain honest, as I like to think) because I do care.
But back to the eye tic.  I've looked it up.  It is probably not a medical issue, but caused by stress or lack of sleep or dry eyes or allergies or over caffeination.  WELL, I've been all of those things for years and have never had an eye tic.  But maybe this is going to replace cold-sores which is probably fine.  Madness over disfigurement.

But my real concern is where this is taking me.  Evil villains, ugly old neighbors and crazy people often have eye tics--especially when they lose their tempers. Or are losing their minds. Or both.

I read this about my malady:

"The prevailing notion seems to be that an eye twitch denotes insanity, which can apply to a permanently mad person with a permanent tic, or an unstable character whose twitch manifests along with their madness. As such, it usually accompanies a Broken Smile, and sometimes overlaps with Mad Eye." (source here)

And there are plenty of examples out there to support this theory.

Sheldon from The Big Bang Theory

The Chief Inspector from the Pink Panther movies

Ed the Hyena

Dr. Horrible has an eye twitch when he confronts his nemesis...

Wile E. Coyote?  Everytime.

Both Squidward and Spongebob get eye twitches when they're losing it.

Donkey, in Shrek says "When I get outta here, I'm gonna need some serious therapy! Look at my eye twitching! " 

And I'm sure there are ample more examples.  I'm not sure where this will lead.  But if in future blog posts you sense I am slowly becoming more and more unhinged because I claim wild crazy things like supporting the Republican Party or dieting...my eye is probably still twitching.

Sunday, February 24, 2013

Oh Yeah! It's the Oscar Edition.

Or should I say, the Oscar dress edition?  But I'm not going to harp on the ugly ones.  You know who you are *cough  Anne Hathaway cough*.

But I would like to make a few observations:

The theme of the hour was this metallic art nouveau style.  I kind of like it.  It was interesting.  Not everyone did it well.

There were of course, several moments that will live on forever on the internets that were just bad moments, maybe not necessarily bad dresses.

Ok, maybe this dress is just bad....because what you
want to accentuate is just how wide you are.
Also Quentin Tarantino may not be the most
flattering accessory.
Poor Amanda...does her head just look
enormous here?
To be fair, she was not posing, probably just looking
for the ladies room... but for such a petite gal, those
are some mighty gold boobs.
Speaking of boobs...you know what is super sexy?
Smashed boobs.
Did this designer not see Project Runway a couple
of weeks ago?  Tim Gunn is gonna have a fit.
Annnnd more boobs
(what exactly did you expect??)
But goodness, I want to know what exactly
is holding all that up.  That is a bit perky
to be au natural.
Ouch.  Side boob/armpit fat.
So unfortunate.

I don't mean to pick on this one, and she's about as thin as they come,
but there were several shots of her that were also pushing skin
into unfortunate configurations.
*Note to self, practice posing in mirror to make sure
there are not weird pooches of skin and fat...
And then there were all the nerds on the red carpet.
Poor things...you can dress them, but
you can't give them presence.
Can I say Jennifer Hudson looks great?

 Now it is time for me to see a few of these movies, which is, apparently, what the night is supposed to be about.  I guess.

Sunday, February 10, 2013

Book Report: The Maze Runner

The Maze Runner
by James Dashner

William was given this book last year by a peer who loved it.  He liked it and as per the usual routine at our house, I read it too.
The author, James Dashner is another local guy.  We've got a lot of writers right here along the Wasatch Front.

The book is set in a post-apocalyptic world, that is made up of just a few dozen kids that live in a compound of sorts surrounded by a maze that changes every night.  They fend for themselves but get supplies sent to them once a week that periodically brings them a new kids who can't remember anything about themselves except their name.
The story revolves around Thomas, a newly arrived kid, who wants to be a maze runner--the kids who go out into the maze everyday to see if they can find a way out.
The maze is this horrific place patrolled by blade wielding machines...kids who venture out into it and get stuck out there at night when the compound's gates seal are never seen again.
While not overtly political yet, it seems like it has the potential to go that way.

It is a pretty violent book.  This might not be the best book for every YA kid.
That said, my 6th grade boy loved it.  It is the first in a series, but we haven't read any of the others yet.

Friday, February 8, 2013

More crazy crap from the Internets

Where does it come from?  All this crazy #$%* is being produced somewhere by someone.  It may even be their job.

Anyway.  Here's the most recent round-up.

I know we've already covered the end of the world, but I somehow forgot to include this one...but just in case, you know, there is another end of the world coming, you can get the appropriate attire.

What list did I get on that they think I need to date local Indian women?

I keep seeing these...discount stuff for Pole dancing "fitness" classes...I somehow wonder if they aren't paying enough for demographic information.  I feel like they could be marketing their wares a bit more selectively...to people.

I really like this one.  Is your wife experiencing problems....because maybe she only got the stupid things to please you in the first place, jerk.

This one wasn't on the Internets, but came in the mail.  You know...that thing that brings totally useless junk mail to our homes...but clearly they know who they are marketing to...people who are NOT all hip and on the Interwebs and stuff.  I don't even think the picture has been updated since 1982.  Nor the price.  And ALL sizes, same low price.  I'm tempted.  I am.

This was in a catalog that I do ordering out of for work.  You know, cause we do stuff with wigs n' stuff.  Professional stuff.  But this cracked me up.  Everyone should have something to brag about.  This company has the #1 selling HEAD in the industry.

Awesome.  I'm telling you it gets stranger every day.
Have a great weekend!

Thursday, February 7, 2013

Conversations with a boy: Valentines edition

Valentines day is in the air...and something is going on at my house.  Here is how it went down last night:

Me: Wm, this note was on the door for  you (hand him sealed envelope with William written in very neat cursive writing across the front...it is killing me but I ask NOTHING.)
Wm: tears it open, reads note and flees room
Anna: (not missing a beat) Who's it from?  Is it a party invitation?  What's it say?

A little later, I try to casually bring up the note...So, is someone having a party this weekend?
Wm: No, not exactly.
Me: not exactly?
Anna: enters and goes right to the point.  Who sent it?  What is it?
Wm: looks embarrassed.  I don't know.
Me: You don't know who left it?
Wm: No.
Me: Try try try not to look too interested....I really do want to give my kids enough space, but it is so hard.

Right before bed Wm comes into my room: Mom, where are my nice shirts?
Me: Nice shirts?
Wm: yeah the green or blue checked ones? Are they clean?
Me: Yes, they're clean.  Downstairs hanging in the laundry room.
Wm then goes down and gets one...I am baffled beyond baffled.  Just 3 weeks ago I had to beg to buy those two shirts for him because he "just didn't care about that stuff" AND not once in William's 11+ years had he EVER cared about what he wore to school or planned it out the night before.  EVER.  

Something is afoot.

**This morning he combed his hair ever so carefully...and asked me to hairspray it.  sigh....

Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Letting Go

Letting go is hard.  Whether it is in your personal life, or at work or just dumb things people say, sometimes letting go can be very hard.

I recently had a conversation with a friend about some obstacles she was having at work and some obstacles I was having in my life in general.  "And I just can't seem to let it go" seemed to be the theme of the hour.

I do not considered myself an overly attached personality, or OCD, but I often get conversations that I've had with someone (that usually didn't go well...or at least not as planned) and I chew on these conversations well into the night, sometimes for days over what went wrong, over what I could have said to make my argument or point or idea clear OR just fun zingers that I could have said that would have put that person in their place and see how smart or funny or RIGHT I am.  As I always am.  Smart and funny and most importantly: RIGHT.

I think this is pretty normal.  I think most people do this to a certain extent, but I have noticed that when life is in turmoil, things do bug me more, and I do tend to spend more sleepless nights that I ought on things of little to no significance.

I wish I knew how to set things aside and just let go.  I have a feeling that if I could do this my life would be smoother.  And to be fair to myself, I have learned to let some things go.  My house is not as clean as I would like.  We don't eat quite as healthy and light and organically and at home as I would like.

Maybe if I did yoga or meditated or planned more (this in truth may not be possible for me to plan more) I could go with the flow a bit more and not get those feathers ruffled.
I have several neighbors whose garages are so full of crap that they can't park in them.  This baffles me as I think I would rather sleep outside than shovel out my car and scrape windows each morning.  Their garages are probably full of things they just can't let go....but it isn't much different really than carrying around mental baggage.  It all weighs you down.

Today, I was working from home and was able to fit in a small workout (whew...got that out of the way for the year) and threw on some comfy workout pants and my favorite old knit hoody.  I've had this thing since before having kids.  It is awful.  It was a favorite piece from the get go and I've worn the thing literally to pieces.  I stopped letting myself wear it in public a couple of years ago, but will often put it on for a day around the house. It has long since had frayed edges and been repaired along most seams,  but as I went about the day both my elbows poked right through the very thin fabric.  I sighed sadly, because I know I need to let it go.  Go to hoody heaven where all good pieces of clothing that have served us well go.

I'm still wearing it as I write this--a sort of Eulogy to the past.
There are things I need to let go.  I know this.  I know letting go will help me move on and in the end will be better for me, but it is hard.

Sunday, February 3, 2013

Book Review: Shoulder the Sky

Shoulder the Sky (World War One #2)
by Anne Perry

This is the second book in this series by the English historical Novelist Anne Perry.  I like historical novels.  It really gives you the best of both worlds.  Kinda like watching Downton Abbey.  You get a great story set in another time period, with real events as the backdrop, but they are fictional characters that you can do whatever you want with.  Well...WE can't do whatever we want with them, that's what the author is for...but you get the idea.  They are not necessarily bound by all those pesky facts people seem determined to make a thing.  I'm a theatre person...all facts all the time have no place in my world.

So this book continues into WWI with the Reavely family each contributing to the war effort in their own particular way.  There is, of course, a murder, of a wholly unlikeable character and which, quite frankly no one wants solved, but Jospeh Reavely is duty bound to figure out.  I am not sure I have quite that staunch a moral sensibility.  And much of it is set in the trenches.  Ms. Perry's descriptions of life at the front are horrid (not her writing, but her non-glamorous view) and makes me wonder how those men came home and returned to their lives.

And while fiction, it is not terribly silly or frivolous (like Downton Abbey) which you often get in a murder mystery.  It does not however read like a history book, and other than the details of the trenches isn't going to teach you too terribly much about WWI.  It has a touch of romance, but not much, and shouldn't spoil it if you are not into that sort of thing.

I liked it.  It wasn't a guilty pleasure and the book jacket didn't embarrass me on public transport, but it was still fiction and didn't make me think too hard (we all need that sometimes, right?).

The next book in the series is  Angels in the Gloom.
Go here for the review of the first book in the Series No Graves as Yet.

Friday, February 1, 2013

When Automated Marketing Goes Horribly Wrong

I don't know about you, but I've noticed a lot of Internet targeted marketing lately.  Last week I was looking for a new trash can for the kitchen (I know, super exciting...) and then all the trash cans I looked at from multiple web sites showed up in the side bar on Face Book.
Yesterday I was helping a student order wigs for a show and today, all day in yahoo and Face Book colonial wigs kept popping up.
I know that this has something to do with "cookies" and that I can clear them or something (*note to self: ask 8 year old how to do this) but today, I got an email that sort of made my day.  Last week I got a coupon for 100 free prints which I get periodically.  I usually use these to order prints for Activity Days or whatever. This time I ordered pics of my makeup classes for the bulletin boards and then filled it in with pictures of bruises and cuts and various other gross things to get to the 100. Today, from the same company, I got an email offering to take all those lovely pics and turn them into a photo album.

Here's what they sent me:

This is a picture of my grandfather post cancer surgery.  My sister sent me this knowing I would use it in my class.  When I clicked on the link it showed the whole book and the next picture  was after they had stitched it all up.  I use this picture to scare my students into using sunscreen.  I also showed it to my dermatologist who oohhhed and ahhhed over it.  The picture after it was my torn ankle ligaments and the one after that my sister's brain surgery.
Good times.  Such is the world I live in.

Good job automated photobook maker!  Apparently, not everyone uses their services to make memories.  Or at least not pleasant memories....