I'm a costume designer, makeup artist, teacher, mom, knitter, baker, want-to-learn-how-to-do-it-all

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I'm a costume designer, makeup artist, teacher, mom, sewer, knitter, baker, want-to-learn-how-to-do-it-all, blogging, Costumed Beagle enthusiast. I am not always pleasant, although through intensive cupcake therapy I have learned not to throw knives at people anymore.

Thursday, December 6, 2012

Naughty or Nice?

I don't know how you maintain control and sanity at your house, but just about the only thing that works at my house is bribery.  The Citizens have no fear and are oblivious to guilt, so it is really the only thing in my arsenal.

I've only recently learned about the Elf on the Shelf thing and I have two things to say about that:
Creepy and It sounds like a lot of work.  I'm also not sure it would work.  I had another philosophical conversation with William while driving the other day where in he logically explained to me how creepy the verse "He sees you when you're sleeping" of a favorite Christmas song was.  AND he was right.  Creepy.

HOWEVER, it is December, and if you all think I'm not going to utilize the one time of year when I have the upper hand because kids should learn to behave properly for the right reasons...well, then you haven't spent enough time around kids.  Real kids.  Not the ones who are really just very old people disguised in small clothing.  Cunning, devious, lying, thieving, misbehaving children.  And lest you think I'm cynical...look it up.  Those are all age-appropriate skilz that kids need to have to make it through our crazy world.

So I resorted to a very simple tactic I learned from one of my "other mothers."  She had four boys and one angry girl to keep under control.  So she used to put a piece of paper on the fridge in December every year (until they were all well into high-school, if memory serves me right) with two columns on it for everyone: Naughty & Nice.  They got hash marks all month according to their  deeds.  I seriously doubt if the gifts Santa brought were really influenced by this list, but let me tell you I posted mine a couple of days ago and it has changed my life.

My darling, but whining, tantrum throwing urchin is suddenly doing what I ask her to THE FIRST TIME I ASKed.
My son OFFERED to take the big trash cans to the street tonight.  UNSOLICITED.
Shoes are picked up, homework is done.  The dog is fed. The showers are taken. The rooms aren't perfect, but I can walk in them.  There are smiles all around and last night I dreamed of rainbows and unicorns.

I know it won't last.  Maybe not even through the week.  I don't care.  I don't care if they are doing it for all the wrong reasons.  My hope is that before the fairy dust wears off some of it will ingrain itself into their impressionable little psychies and they'll think this is how it has always been.  That the REAL inner child with all the possibilities will suddenly break free and we'll all laugh about that "phase" she went through when she was seven and used to throw herself on the floor for no reason at all..."ha ha ha ha ha ha"

I know what you're thinking.  Just let me have this moment.

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