I'm a costume designer, makeup artist, teacher, mom, knitter, baker, want-to-learn-how-to-do-it-all

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I'm a costume designer, makeup artist, teacher, mom, sewer, knitter, baker, want-to-learn-how-to-do-it-all, blogging, Costumed Beagle enthusiast. I am not always pleasant, although through intensive cupcake therapy I have learned not to throw knives at people anymore.

Friday, March 23, 2012

I'm a Freakin' Ray of Sunshine, Dammit

This post was originally published last March when I first started blogging.
I've had a few people ask me where I got the name...and here you go.

Last weekend I attended a large family gathering consisting of lots of little kids and lots of people from an in-law family that I did not know. There was cake, which was good, but it wasn’t quite enough to keep me pleasant for an extended period of time. My Father-in-law (not exactly a source of joviality and pleasantries) leaned over to me and hinted humorously that I am not the cheeriest of souls. I eyed him narrowly and responded, “I am a freaking Ray of Sunshine, Dammit.”
And in all honesty, I am…comparatively speaking. I come from a family of cranky, depressive, ornery, self-indulgent curmudgeons. And that is being somewhat generous. My extended family may be solely responsible for the drug-industry’s increased revenue over the past decade (as more and more of them reach an age to seek treatment…)
When my son was setting up our Wii a few years ago, he created Miis for everyone in the family. He proudly showed me the one had made for me. I was tickled, but asked him why I looked so angry. He candidly answered “But that is just how you look.”
This only worries me as it may affect my kids. I have worried since before their births of their future personalities and inherited genetic lack of cheerfulness. As of yet, they haven’t exhibited any overly negative behaviors, but I still keep a watchful eye.
So, it is true, I do not have a naturally sunny disposition, but that does not reflect my relative happiness in the present or generally. I am just not a smiler. In reality, I am happier now that I have been in years. I think some of this comes with an acceptance of life (and the #$%#@! it hands you) and of self. I am not perfect. I am not going to win mother-of-the-year or Ms. Congeniality…ever.
But I have little to complain about and much to be thankful for. I have two beautiful kids who could, quite possibly, have a better mother, but certainly not one who loves them more. I’m sure somewhere out there is a small group of loyal friends who like me for my “honesty.” So what if no one else can see my particular brand of sunshine. I claim it as my own, and do with it what I will….which may, on any given day look rather grumpy.

1 comment:

  1. I've always liked your particlar brand of sunshine, La!